I had become the King of Excuses. Everyone was against me. Everything was an argument. No one wanted to help me. My girlfriend, dad, mom, sister, buddies from the shop – you name it, they all kept telling me I had to change or stop bothering them. Back then, I was pretty sure they were …
I was pretty indestructible as a kid. I was the youngest of four boys. My parents were both teachers. Growing up in our house, my brothers always seemed to have a knack for getting caught. Me? Call it luck, call it determination – I could pretty much do as I pleased. I set my own …
I never believed in peer pressure. I thought that was a made-up term invented by parents, teachers and shrinks in their attempt to divide and conquer those of us that most frustrated them. Besides, back then I thought my groups were relatively tame. I hung out with the guys I played ball with, bandmates, my …
I sat alone in the restaurant, in a booth in the back corner. I watched the people around me – couples, families, friends. They’d come in, sit down, chat briefly, place their order, and then all open their phones and with heads down wait for their meals. I imagined what they were doing. Playing a …
There was a time when I thought I was invincible. I had been a bit of a loner in school. I didn’t have many friends, ate lunch alone, went to school alone, was never invited to parties. But then I connected with a couple of guys who made me feel accepted. They invited me to …
No one teaches us how to have healthy relationships. Somehow, we’re expected to just “know.” Meanwhile, in our families, in response to criticism, we learn caution. We stop sharing ideas and or suggestions because we dislike criticism and learn to fear being criticized. In response to anger and disappointment, we learn to try to do …
I was sitting on a park bench, watching two children on the playground. They had been arguing with each other when they both suddenly raced to their mom who had been watching them as they bickered over a piece of equipment. “It’s not fair!” shouted one. “Why does she get to go first?” shouted the …
I never set off to become an addict or alcoholic. “It’s not my fault,” I would say to anyone who questioned me. “It just happened. Get over it!” As it turned out, I ended up abusing alcohol and other drugs for more than fifteen years. Once I began my recovery journey, I soon learned my …
I hated my father. I blamed him for the turbulent home I lived in. As a child growing up, he often would come home late from work. He and my mom would get into an argument. She would accuse him of stopping off at the bar and being drunk. He would get angry. He often …
In school growing up, I never had a peer group. I was a loner. I didn’t fit in. Whenever I tried to make friends, they’d ignore me, or start making fun of me. So, relationships were difficult. I never really learned how to fit in or how to address conflicts that happen in relationships. It …
